LastBestPlace June 2022

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6 discussions

wedding humor
by LastBestPlace 29 Jun '22

29 Jun '22

Miriam’s wedding day was fast approaching. Nothing could dampen her excitement – not even her parents’ nasty divorce. Her mother ,Bessie had found the perfect dress to wear, and would be the best-dressed mother-of-the-bride ever! A week later, Miriam was horrified to learn that her father’s new, young wife had bought the exact same dress as her mother. Miriam asked her father’s new young wife to exchange it, but she refused. “Absolutely not! I look like a million bucks in this dress, and I’m wearing it,” she replied. Miriam told her mother who graciously said, “Never mind sweetheart. I’ll get another dress. After all, it’s your special day.” A few days later, they went shopping, and did find another gorgeous dress for her mother. When they stopped for lunch, Miriam asked her mother, “Aren’t you going to return the other dress? You really don’t have another occasion where you could wear it.” Her mother just smiled and replied, “Of course I do, dear. I’m wearing it to the rehearsal dinner the night before the wedding.”

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crow humor
by LastBestPlace 27 Jun '22

27 Jun '22

Researchers for the Massachusetts Turnpike Authority found over 200 dead crows near greater Boston recently, and there was concern that they may have died from Avian Flu. A Bird Pathologist examined the remains of all the crows, and, to everyone’s relief, confirmed the problem was definitely NOT Avian Flu. The cause of death appeared to be vehicular impacts. However, during the detailed analysis it was noted that varying colors of paints appeared on the bird’s beaks and claws. By analyzing these paint residues it was determined that 98% of the crows had been killed by impact with trucks, while only 2% were killed by an impact with a car. MTA then hired an Ornithological Behaviorist to determine if there was a cause for the disproportionate percentages of truck kills versus car kills. He very quickly concluded the cause: When crows eat road kill, they always have a look-out crow in a nearby tree to warn of impending danger. They discovered that while all the lookout crows could shout “Cah”, not a single one could shout “Truck.”

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Wood eye humor
by LastBestPlace 12 Jun '22

12 Jun '22

Enjoy

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May 2022 Scampering about to California
by LastBestPlace 08 Jun '22

08 Jun '22

We did a 2.5 week trip in the Scamp to California and back to attend a family wedding (and feed crows). A few highlights ..... Lave Beds National Monument, near Tulelake CA very close to the Oregon border. The $5/night senior campsite fee was great value. Perfect Cuts Peppered Cottage Bacon is Perfecto! Exploring the lava tubes. The longest one we traversed was over 3000 feet long! The batteries in my head decided to die after about 1000 feet, at which point the phones became essential equipment. They are huge!! We did a side step to Reno NV to visit some friends. Sandy had not seen their new house since they moved away from San Jose. Oh yeah, almost forgot the sunset clouds were stupendous. A big highlight was meeting up with Bruce the dog .... and his owner (Sandy's brother). Not all parts of Scamp travels are glamorous 😉 Antler State Park on Lake Shasta. Again, camping in the month of May found the campgrounds nearly empty in great weather. Sandy is very, very happy with the Scamp, and so far has not mentioned trading in the traveling partner, which I take to be a good sign! We already have future trips planned and reservations made.

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06/06/2022 78 years later
by LastBestPlace 08 Jun '22

08 Jun '22

June 6, 2022. Spotted the first Bear Grass of the season unfolding while out running. Today also marks the 78th anniversary of D-Day (Operation Overlord, June 6, 1944). A.G. Kirk (Commander, U.S. Navy) order for the day /3. In two ways the coming battle differs from any that we have undertaken before: it demands more seamanship, and more fighting. We must operate in the waters of the English Channel and the French coast, in strong currents and twenty-foot tide. We must destroy an enemy defensive system which has been four years in the making, and our mission is one against which the enemy will throw his whole remaining strength. These are not beaches held by apathetic Italians or defended by hasty fortifications. These are prepare[d] positions, held by Germans who have learned from their past failures. They have coastal batteries and mine fields; they have [illegible] and E-boats and submarines. They will try to use them all. We are getting into a fight. /Page 369 of Stephen Ambrose’s /D-Day, June 6, 1944 <https://stephenambrosetours.com/d-day-june-6-1944-climactic-battle-wwii/>/, where Ambrose quotes ship’s cook Exum Pike. Pike’s quote concludes /“I have often told my two sons that I have no fear of hell because I have already been there.”/

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native American humor
by LastBestPlace 06 Jun '22

06 Jun '22

The President visits a remote Native American reservation. With news and camera crews following him around as they tour the place, the President asks the Indian chief if there is anything they need. "Well," says the chief, "We have three very important needs. First, we have a medical clinic, but no doctor to run it.” The President whips out his cellphone, dials a number, talks to somebody for two minutes, then hangs up. "I've pulled some strings. Your well-trained doctor will arrive in five days.” "Now what was the second problem?” "We have no way to get clean water. The local mining operation has poisoned the water our people have been drinking for hundreds of years. We've been flying bottled water in, but it's terribly expensive.” Once again, the President dials a number, yells into the phone for a few minutes, and then hangs up. "The mine has been shut down permanently per my orders, and the owner is being billed for setting up a water purification plant for your people.” "Now what was that third problem?" asks the President. The chief stares at him and says, "We have no cellphone reception up here!"

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LastBestPlace June 2022