I have two dogs and I was buying a large bag of Purina at the grocery store and standing in line at the check out.
A woman behind me asked if I had a dog.
On impulse, I told her that no, I was starting the Purina Diet again although I probably shouldn’t because I’d ended up in the hospital last time, but that I’d lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.
I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry and that the food is nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again.
Horrified, she asked if I’d ended up in the hospital in that condition because I had been poisoned. I told her no; I stepped off a curb to sniff a poodle’s behind and a car hit me.