Try these English samples.
1) The bandage was wound around the wound.
2)
The farm was used to produce
produce.
3) The dump was so full that it had to refuse
more
refuse.
4) We must polish
the
Polish
furniture.
5) He could lead
if
he would get the lead
out.
6) The soldier decided to desert
his
dessert
in the desert.
7) Since there is no time like the present,
he thought it was time to present
the
present.
8) A bass
was
painted on the head of the bass
drum.
9) When shot at, the dove
dove into
the bushes.
10) I did not object
to
the object.
11) The insurance was invalid
for
the invalid.
12) There was a row
among
the oarsmen about how to row.
13) They were too close
to
the door to close
it.
14) The buck does
funny
things when the does
are
present.
15) A seamstress and a sewer
fell
down into a sewer
line.
16) To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow
to
sow.
17) The wind
was
too strong to wind
the
sail.
18) Upon seeing the tear
in
the painting I shed a tear.
19) I had to subject
the
subject
to
a series of tests.
20) How can I intimate
this
to my most intimate
friend?
Let's face it - English is a crazy language. There is no egg in eggplant, nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins weren't invented in England or French fries in France . Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat. We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.
And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham? If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth, beeth? One goose, 2 geese. So one moose, 2 meese? One index, 2 indices? Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend? If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?
If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught? If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat? Sometimes I think all the English speakers should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane. In what language do people recite at a play and play at a recital? Ship by truck and send cargo by ship? Have noses that run and feet that smell?
How
can a
slim
chance and a fat chance be the same,
while a
wise man and a wise guy are opposites?
You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which
your
house can burn up as it burns down,
in
which you fill in a form by filling it out and in which, an
alarm goes off by going on.
English was invented by people, not computers, and it reflects the creativity of the human race, which, of course, is not a race at all. That is why, when the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible.