Ontario has banned groups larger than 5.

If you’re a family of 6, you’re all about to find out who’s the least favourite.

~~~~~

The longer this goes on, the harder it will be to return to a society where pants and bras are required.

Happy hour is starting earlier and earlier.

If this keeps up, I’ll be pouring wine in my cereal.

~~~~~

Today’s Weather? Room temperature.

~~~~~

Smoking pot and skipping school had me in trouble constantly.

Now weeds legal and schools closed ... damn kids are livin’ the dream.

~~~~~

This is stupid. I just tried to make my own hand sanitizer and it came out as a rum & coke.

~~~~~

If you get an email with the subject “Knock Knock”, don’t open it.

It’s a Jehovah Witness working from home.

~~~~~

After a few days of not going out, I saw someone I knew walking by on the sidewalk outside.

I immediately ran to the window and started yelling to them.

Now I understand dogs.

~~~~~

Day 8 of social isolation and it’s looking like Vegas in my house:

We’re losing money by the minute.

Cocktails are acceptable at any hour.

Nobody knows what time it is.