[Whisperingwaters.social] PARAPROSDOKIANS

                        */_CLEVE_/**R PARAPROSDOKIANS*

                        *(A paraprosdokian is a figure of speech
                        in which the latter part of a sentence is
                        unexpected and oft times very humorous.)*

                        If I had a dollar for every girl who found
                        me unattractive, they'd eventually find me
                        very attractive.

                        I find it ironic that the colors red,
                        white, and blue stand for freedom, until
                        they're flashing behind you.

                        Today a man knocked on my door and asked
                        for a small donation towards the local
                        swimming pool, so I gave him a glass of water.

                        Artificial intelligence is no match for
                        natural stupidity.

                        I'm great at multi-tasking: I can waste
                        time, be unproductive, and procrastinate
                        all at once.

                        If you can smile when things go wrong, you
                        have someone in mind to blame.

                        Take my advice, I'm not using it.

                        Hospitality is the art of making guests
                        feel like they're at home when you wish
                        they were.

                        Behind every great man is a woman rolling
                        her eyes.

                        Ever stop to think and forget to start again?

                        Women spend more time wondering what men
                        are thinking than men spend thinking.

                        He who laughs last thinks slowest.

                        Is it wrong that only one company makes
                        the game Monopoly?

                        Women sometimes make fools of men, but
                        most guys are the do-it-yourself type.

                        Men say women should come with an
                        instruction manual; but since when has any
                        man stopped to read the instructions.

                        I was going to give him a nasty look, but
                        he already had one.

                        Change is inevitable, except from a
                        vending machine.

                        I was going to wear my camouflage shirt
                        today, but I couldn't find it.

                        If at first you don't succeed, skydiving
                        is not for you. . .