Thanks, Carol! I love this type of humor. Okay, I decided to try coming up with my own...
Corvid-19 (n), the number of pounds one gains by eating too many corn syrup laden canned foods during the pandemic.
Laurie
On Wed, Apr 15, 2020, 9:11 AM rebeccaf@brownelltravel.com wrote:
Thanks Carol These are sooo clever. Gave me a good laugh, which we all need take care and stay safe Rebecca
Rebecca Falkenberry, CTA, ATC, DS
*Independent Luxury Travel Advisor *
brownell A Virtuoso Agency
301 Second Street North, Unit 18
St. Petersburg, FL 33701
Office: 727.954.8252
Fax: 205.803.0370
rebeccaf@brownelltravel.com renea@brownelltravel.com
*From:* Carol Kline carolkline1948@gmail.com *Sent:* Tuesday, April 14, 2020 5:19 PM *To:* Mary von Alt mvonalt@gmail.com; Amy Pear & June Lockhart < ecogaze@me.com>; Bill Stokes bstokes4@juno.com; Barbara & Tim Spofford < bspofford@outlook.com>; Nancy Clark nancy.jubilee2004@gmail.com; Emily Cox efreels@aol.com; Cathy Defiore cathlanesend@yahoo.com; Drexey Smith drexey@live.com; Diane Lerner lernerdiane@gmail.com; Ellen & Elliot Hays ellen.hays@gmail.com; John Vail eastonvail@gmail.com; Elaine Faraone veggiegal156@gmail.com; Rebecca Falkenberry < rebeccaf@brownelltravel.com>; Gabi Buxbaum gabrielebuxbaum@yahoo.com; Kathy Michals hiitsmetoo@verizon.net; Laurie Macdonald < lauriewildwood@gmail.com>; Mona Tugender mstugs@aol.com; Phillip Torrence philtorrence@gmail.com; Roni Starman RSta35@aol.com; Rick Wile rixrax@verizon.net; whisperingwaters.social@mailman3-lists.com < whisperingwaters.social@mailman3-lists.com> *Subject:* Fwd: Fw: Some fun with words!
*Subject:* Fwd: Some fun with words!
Hysterical!
Once again The Washington Post has published the winning submissions to its yearly neologism contest, in which readers are asked to supply alternative meanings for common words.
The winners are:
Coffee (n.), the person upon whom one coughs.
Flabbergasted (adj.), appalled over how much weight you have gained.
Abdicate (v.), to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.
Esplanade (v.), to attempt an explanation while drunk.
Willy-nilly (adj.), impotent.
Negligent (adj.), describes a condition in which you absentmindedly
answer the door in your nightgown.
Lymph (v.), to walk with a lisp.
Gargoyle , olive-flavoured mouthwash.
Flatulence (n.), emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are run
over by a steamroller.
Balderdash (n.), a rapidly receding hairline.
Testicle (n.), a humorous question on an exam.
Rectitude (n.), the formal, dignified bearing adopted by
proctologists.
Pokemon , a Rastafarian proctologist.
Oyster (n.), a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms.
Frisbeetarianism (n.), (back by popular demand): The belief that, when
you die, your soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.
- Circumvent (n.), an opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by
Jewish men.
The Washington Post's Style Invitational also asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition.
The winners are:
-Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.
-Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period.
-Sarchasm (n): The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.
-Inoculatte (v): To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.
-Osteopornosis (n): A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)
- Karmageddon (n): It's like, when everybody is sending off all these
Really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer.
Glibido (v): All talk and no action.
Arachnoleptic fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you've
accidentally walked through a spider web.
- Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half a grub in the
fruit you're eating.
And the pick of the literature:
- Ignoranus (n): A person who's both stupid and an asshole.
