Passed on by Lou Nuspl:-)
/They asked him where he wanted to be buried.../
/Bob Hope replied: "Surprise me."/
*//*
/I had forgotten that he lived to be 100, and also didn't realize it has been over 17//years since he died./
/*BOB HOPE IN HEAVEN*/
/For those of you too young to remember Bob Hope, ask your grandparents and thanks for the memories./
/*WHAT A WONDERFUL E-MAIL.*/
*//*
/I HOPE THIS WILL PUT A SMILE ON YOUR FACE AND IN YOUR HEART./
/This is a tribute to a man who DID make a difference/
*//*
/ON TURNING 70 - "I still chase women, but only downhill."/
/ON TURNING 80 - "That's the time of your life when even your birthday suit needs pressing."/
/ON TURNING 90 - "You know you are getting old when the candles cost more than the cake."/
/ON TURNING 100 - " I don't feel old. In fact, I don't feel anything until noon. Then it's time for my nap."/
/ON GIVING UP HIS EARLY CAREER (BOXING) - "I ruined my hands in the ring. The referee kept stepping on them."/
/ON GOLF - "Golf is my profession. Show business is just to pay the green fees."/
/ON PRESIDENTS - "I have performed for 12 presidents but entertained only six."/
/ON WHY HE CHOOSE SHOWBIZ FOR HIS CAREER - "When I was born, the doctor said to my mother, congratulations, you have an eight pound ham."/
/ON RECEIVING THE CONGRESSIONAL GOLD MEDAL - "I feel very humble, but I think I have the strength of character to fight it."/
/ON HIS FAMILY'S EARLY POVERTY - "Four of us slept in the one bed. When it got cold, mother threw on another brother."/
/ON HIS SIX BROTHERS - "That's how I learned to dance. Waiting for the bathroom."/
/ON HIS EARLY FAILURES - "I would not have had anything to eat if it wasn't for the stuff the audience threw at me."/
/ON GOING TO HEAVEN //–/
//
/"I have done benefits for ALL religions. I would hate to blow the hereafter on a technicality."/
*//*
/Dear Lord -/ /Please give me a sense of humor,// /give me the grace to see a joke,/ /to get some humor out of life,/ /and pass it on to other folk.//
/To the person receiving this, please have the grace to pass it on to others./
/Learn from yesterday, live for today, keep one hand on your wallet and don't worry about tomorrow.../
